Taxes, Taxes, Taxes

All around me, I'm surrounded by taxes.  And no, not just at work.  Every year, I prepare dozens of returns for friends & family.  Last year, it got so bad, I spent every night working on some one's return.  I had to put a limit on it this year.  Especially since I can't charge for it.

In case you forgot, it is tax season.

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And while the private sector is working 80 hour weeks trying to prepare every return possible, I don't escape the madness entirely.

Friday night, a group of us went to see "Act of Valor."  (Side note: Great movie, but super intense.  I needed a Xanax a third of the way into it!)  And we ran into one of my husband's co-workers who always proceeds to tell me his latest tax scheme.  All which are *mostly* valid. 

Most people I know get refunds.  (Some huge - again, can I just say that the Earned Income Credit is welfare?  Just had to point that out one more time.)

But it seems a lot of people, more than normal, are having to pay taxes this year, me included.  It's one thing if you're expecting it.  But if you're not, it can be crippling.

People have this fear of the IRS, not entirely unfounded, that if they owe the IRS even a penny, the Service will seize their house and maybe one or two of their children.  They freak out, even break down into tears. 

If you should find yourself in this position, here's what you should know:

1. File your taxes, ON TIME.  Even if you can't pay them.  This is one of the biggest misconception I deal with.  People even get their returns prepared and simply don't file because they can't pay the tax due.  Even if you know you can't pay, file your return.  There are penalties for not filing as well as not paying.  But you could at least avoid the Failure to File Penalty it will save you some money in the long run.

2.  The IRS has payment plans.  If you call and ask, they will set up an Installment Agreement and it's practically guaranteed, as long as you pay it off in a reasonable amount of time. 

3.  Going hand-in-hand with #2, if you owe money to the IRS and are due a refund, the Service will keep your refund.  So say you have an abnormal year where you owe the IRS $4000.  Set up a payment plan for $250/mo.  By the time next year rolls around, you will still owe at least $1000.  If you are due a refund then, the IRS will keep the amount you owe to satisfy your balance.  Strangely, that surprises a lot of people

4.  You can't declare bankruptcy on money you owe the IRS.  Especially in today's volatile economy, you may have a booming year in one year and be destitute by the time tax season gets here.  I'm no bankruptcy attorney, but tax debt, for the most part, can't be included on a bankruptcy. 

5.  You'd honestly, be better off getting a low interest credit card and using it to pay off your tax debt, and then pay the credit card.  The IRS charges compound interest, just like a credit card company.  Meaning, they charge interest on interest.  Couple that with penalties (and the interest on penalties) and you can end up with double the original balance - quickly.  If I was your personal tax advisor, I would tell you it's much better to owe Chase than the IRS.  If you miss a credit card payment, it won't be nearly as costly as missing a payment to the IRS.

It's never fun to owe money, but owing taxes can be especially frightening.  Hopefully, these few tips can help you if you find yourself in that situation.


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In the interest of full disclosure, I'm currently on drugs.  Lol.  I went to the doctor today and was told I may have mono.  I'm on some antibiotics and a serious slew of pain killers.  So if you notice spelling, grammatical errors, missing words, or just something plain ol' wrong, give me a pass this time, mmkay?

SOLD!!!!

So, it's been a crazy three weeks...

After much debate, we sold our house. 

Every day the negotiations went on, I though for sure I'd be updating you all with a "It's sold!" post.  And every day came & went. 

It was truly one of the most stressful processes I've ever been through.

They offered a pretty lowball offer.  That we couldn't even entertained.  So we countered, then they countered, then we countered...  You get the point.

And to top it all off, we will be renting from the buyer till our house is complete.  So then we had to figure out how much rent we were willing to pay, how long we wanted to stay here, how much security they wanted vs. how much we were willing to pay... 

And I swear sometimes, dealing with real estate people is like dealing with emus.  Ever tried to talk to an emu?  They look at you like you're the crazy one...not speaking English or something.  THEY ARE AN EMU!!!

But after two weeks of painful negotiations - we all signed on the dotted line.

I heard angels singing.  And no, that's not a metaphor.

I pulled a Gideon, laid a fleece out, and secretly asked God for Him to find us buyers that would rent to us till our house is built.  And He did. 

But even that miracle wasn't enough for me.

I was feeling really bad about the sale.  Nauseated.  Because the buyers picked maybe the worst possible property management team in the NRV to manage the house.  (They shall remain nameless - but they are "explosive.")  I really wanted to cancel the whole deal.  So I asked God for one more thing.  (My mom calls it "Flipping over the fleece.")

One more virtually impossible thing - just to know for sure this deal was the right one for us.

Sell my parents house.

My parents house has been on the market for 2 years.  (Yes - 2 years.)  They've had a few offers but they all fell through. 

I am not lying when I say this, my parents signed a contract on their house 2 days later.  One with virtually no contingencies - except an inspection.  And the buyer - a guy I kinda/sorta dated one summer in high school.  So weird.  (Although he never went to my house, so he probably has no idea the hours spent on the phone with him in that bedroom!)

Ok, God.  Got the picture - Loud & Clear.  Why am I so shocked when He does that?  Anyone else get surprised when they ask for something and get it?  Ok, I'm glad it's not just me.

So I had no qualms whatsoever about signing the final contract.  After all is said & done, we may walk away with $30.  Literally.  But in this market, I'll take it. 

We close on the house hopefully in mid-March.  We will be in this house till May 2013. 

Just enough time for us to complete this:


Our Dream Home



I Went on a Hike!

I did something today.

Something I haven't done since high school.

I hiked the Cascades.

It's a 4 mile hike.  (Two miles up; two miles down.)

Like I said, last time I did this was when I weighed all of 98 pounds.

Not quite as easy now.

But the pay off was amazing.


Yes!  That's me!

I don't know what came over me today.  I was sitting at my desk about 10:00 and thought, "I really don't want to be here today."  (To be honest, I usually think that every day at 10:00.)

At first I thought, Mr. DDA is off.  We could go to lunch.  Have a mini-date.

But after yesterday's dilemma, I thought it best we save that money.  And since I'm trying to find middle ground between my high school weight and my now weight, I thought it best I save those calories.

It cost us $3.  We had a blast.

But at the halfway point, my husband (who had never seen the falls) said, "You ready to go back?"

I said, "NO!!!  We have to keep going.  Just wait till you get to the top!"

Even though we are still technically debt free (I'll explain how we're paying this bill later), after yesterday, I feel like we're at the halfway point again.

It's would be just as easy to turn back as to keep going. 

Part of me wants to say "Heck with it!"  And call Chase.  (They have Mickey Mouse cards!!!)  And run out and buy shoes, and dresses, and adorable boutique kiddie clothes, and Mr. DDA a tool chest, and pay off this bill, and just live like the rest of the world.  With a credit card payment.

But I've determined we will conquer this thing.

I will burn those calories.  I mean, make those payments.  :)

I've seen the top before, and I want to go back.

#$%@*# - $%&^*@

I got a bill in the mail today.

Not a dollar bill, a payment due bill.

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And not a regular one.  A big one.

"With a comma" big.

I kinda knew it was coming, but in the back of my mind I kept hoping and praying for a miracle.  That it somehow wouldn't come.

Even being debt free, it's too big for us to simply write a check for.

(Told ya it was big.)

I had a minor meltdown, freak out moment today.  I swore - I cussed.

Not really, but I actually said the phrase, "Maybe we should just put it on a credit card." 

I know. 

Told you it was blasphemous.

My sister tried to give me the speech that I invented!!!

It's just money...  It's not your health...  It's not your kids health...

It didn't work.

At first.

But after I had my little pity party in my cubicle, I got out my calculator and began to crunch the numbers.  (I know, I'm such a nerd.  Just say it.)

And after about an hour, I began to breathe normally again.

And I began to give myself my classic, little pep talk.

Steve Jobs probably had this much money as loose change in his glove box.  But he couldn't buy a minute more.

Britney Spears would probably trade all her money for an unfried brain and a normal life. 

"Ok - get a grip Sarah!  You can handle this!"

I didn't find out today that my baby girl had a brain tumor.  Some mother did today.

My two year old didn't starve today in some third world country - or for that matter, in our country.  Some children went hungry today.

I didn't have to bury my annoying, but melt-my-heart four year old little boy.  Some mom out there today, had to do that.  God bless her.

I didn't find out today that when my husband left, he wasn't coming back.  Some overworked wife got that call today...from the military, from a chief, or from a sheriff.

See, today, when I got that bill, I did freak out.  I did cry.  I threw a pity party.  "Why doesn't God bless me?"   Waahhh
Waahhh
Waahhh

As If I God Wanted to Remind Me One More Time

But at the end of the day, it was a very strange reminder of how blessed I am.

Don't get me wrong, I am not happy about this bill.

I am not going to enjoy paying it - at all.

But I'm so glad to have this burden versus many other options out there.

Dear Retired Me

Dear Retired Me:

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When you no longer have to set an alarm clock,

And your grandchildren unexpectedly show up for breakfast,

And you get to fly south for winter,

Think of me.  ("Think of me.  Think of me fondly - when we said goodbye..."  Bonus points if you know where that came from.)

 the unretired, exhausted, but happy me.

See, I could really use the extra couple hundred dollars that I'm giving you

For groceries...

Or gas - yes, retired me, $3.30/gal. gas is expensive right now.  It may be cheap then, but it's expensive now...

Or the countess medical co-pays because all three kids can't manage to get sick on the same day...

Or a new pair of shoes...  :)

Or better yet, to buy pants for my children, because my washer magically shrinks them as soon as I buy them.  (My children can't possibly grow that fast can they?)

See, retirees will need 70% of their pre-retirement yearly income. 

And I read this week that my generation will need approximately $1.8 million dollars at retirement.

(Retired me, do we even use dollars any more?)

Barring some strange turn of events in my life, I'm not sure I'm gonna make it to almost $2 million dollars in my retirement accounts. 

Especially if the stock market keeps resembling the architecture of the Kingda Ka.

(Retired me, do we even have a stock market anymore?)

Dear, dear retired me,

I think of you and your white sandy beaches often.

But while I can't wait to meet you, don't arrive too fast

I'm enjoying life as unretired, exhausted, but happy me.

I'm Buying a Box

I'm buying a house.

No, maybe a refrigerator.

Or two.

But just for the boxes.

Because I'm going to need a home.

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Because I'm not going to be able to afford my current one..

Because I'm going to quit my job.



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Because at the moment, I'm really tired of being the tax lady.

I'm really tired of telling hard working people who barely make ends meet that they're going to owe over $10,000 because their union didn't bribe a congressman enough to get a loophole in the tax code.

I'm really tired of preparing returns for people really don't do much of anything and see them walk away with $8000 for doing nothing productive in society the year before.

Can we just talk about the Earned Income Credit people?

It's welfare. 

There I said it.

It's welfare.  We, yes - you too, are paying people to work as little as possible and yet, have as many children as possible.

I despise that credit.

I H-A-T-E that credit.

Because a family of 5 making less than approximately $45,000 a year can literally owe NO tax in the first place and yet get thousands of dollars from the government.

And people who get the credit know that and work the minimum amount to get the maximum credit.

But I can't quit.

Because I'm married to a cop.

(An awesome one at that.)

And incaseyoudidn'tknow, cops make nothing - well, pretty much.

And if I did quit, we'd qualify for the Earned Income Credit.

And that would just be an oxymoron wouldn't it?

But I still want a refrigerator box.

Because who didn't love a playhouse in their living room?

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The Cost of Borrowing

A couple years ago, right in the middle of our debt-free journey, we got the exciting news I was pregnant with baby #2.  We were thrilled, but as the due date inched closer and closer, I began having panic attacks.  How were we going to afford 2 daycare payments?  2 sets of diapers?  Formula?  Forget that - how were we even going to get through maternity leave?

Less than 2 weeks before baby #2 arrived, we got a loan, no, I'll say it, a handout, from a family member.  It was amazing and heartbreaking at the same time.  It wasn't much - it was just the perfect amount. 

And although we assured them we would pay it back, they assured us that they would refuse it.

But here we are 3 years later and I still think about it..  I still feel guilty over it. 

You know how you feel when you hear about people who run up a credit card on a lavish vacation, then whine about paying off until someone (usually related) pays it off for them?  That was me!  (Well, except for the lavish vacation part)

I hear about those people now and it makes me sick.  You don't learn anything that way.  You don't feel the pain. 

Although that amount didn't fully pay off our debt, it took some of it away.  Consider that local anesthesia.  :)

Money comes with price.  Sounds kinda stupid, but it's so true.

Borrowed money doesn't get you out of debt.  It may pay off your debt, but you always have a debt.












On a lighter note, over the weekend, DDA celebrated it's birthday!

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Here's to another year of bean counting, debt dumping, and shoe scouring!!!