#$%@*# - $%&^*@

I got a bill in the mail today.

Not a dollar bill, a payment due bill.

credit

And not a regular one.  A big one.

"With a comma" big.

I kinda knew it was coming, but in the back of my mind I kept hoping and praying for a miracle.  That it somehow wouldn't come.

Even being debt free, it's too big for us to simply write a check for.

(Told ya it was big.)

I had a minor meltdown, freak out moment today.  I swore - I cussed.

Not really, but I actually said the phrase, "Maybe we should just put it on a credit card." 

I know. 

Told you it was blasphemous.

My sister tried to give me the speech that I invented!!!

It's just money...  It's not your health...  It's not your kids health...

It didn't work.

At first.

But after I had my little pity party in my cubicle, I got out my calculator and began to crunch the numbers.  (I know, I'm such a nerd.  Just say it.)

And after about an hour, I began to breathe normally again.

And I began to give myself my classic, little pep talk.

Steve Jobs probably had this much money as loose change in his glove box.  But he couldn't buy a minute more.

Britney Spears would probably trade all her money for an unfried brain and a normal life. 

"Ok - get a grip Sarah!  You can handle this!"

I didn't find out today that my baby girl had a brain tumor.  Some mother did today.

My two year old didn't starve today in some third world country - or for that matter, in our country.  Some children went hungry today.

I didn't have to bury my annoying, but melt-my-heart four year old little boy.  Some mom out there today, had to do that.  God bless her.

I didn't find out today that when my husband left, he wasn't coming back.  Some overworked wife got that call today...from the military, from a chief, or from a sheriff.

See, today, when I got that bill, I did freak out.  I did cry.  I threw a pity party.  "Why doesn't God bless me?"   Waahhh
Waahhh
Waahhh

As If I God Wanted to Remind Me One More Time

But at the end of the day, it was a very strange reminder of how blessed I am.

Don't get me wrong, I am not happy about this bill.

I am not going to enjoy paying it - at all.

But I'm so glad to have this burden versus many other options out there.