Saturday, February 9, 2013

I Am a Good Mom

I am not the perfect mother.  According to many people's lists, I'm not even a good mother.

If you google "perfect mom" this is what comes up...hysterical.
I do not buy all organic food or grow our own tomatoes.  We do get happy meals from McDonald's on routinely, every two weeks on Sunday afternoon's when my spouse is working.  They don't eat all their vegetables.  I even let them eat white bread sometimes.

I do not make my kids' birthday cakes from scratch.  I usually buy them...from a store.  And that's if they have a birthday party.  My kids don't even always have birthday parties.  Sometimes it's just dinner, at a restaurant, with us and their grandparents. 

My kids probably watch too much TV.  I don't paper-mâché.  I don't do crafts with them to document their artistic inspiration with elbow noodles and popsicle sticks.  My idea of bonding time is watching a Christmas movie with my kids, in May, eating bowls of popcorn...microwave, to be exact.  Out of store bought "popcorn" bowls.

My kids haven't been to a Mickey Mouse, Sesame Street, or Dora the Explorer "LIVE" event.  We've been to the circus - once.  And saw Disney on Ice...with free tickets. 

I am not always home in time to do homework with my son.  4 out of 5 nights, Mr. DDA does homework with him.  I have to ask to sign the homework slip every once in a while so I at least look involved.

My kids are not in soccer, karate, tee ball, ballet,, and French lessons.  ALL AT THE SAME TIME.  We're just now trying out pee-wee basketball and I'm about to have an apoplexy.  I can't handle it.   (Can you "have" an apoplexy?  I don't know...forgive me if my English isn't correct.)

I work.  Not like work out.  I work - at a job. I get up at 5 am, leave the house at 6, go to an actual office, and most nights don't get home til 12 hours later.  Out of every female friend that I went to high school and college with, I only know three of us (with kids) that work...outside the home.  And the other two are teachers so they get all those crazy breaks and snow days.  (I shoulda been a teacher.)
I don't troll Facebook all that much.  But if I do, it's easy for me to feel like a second rate mother.  I, apparently, am not doing any of the things the "best" mother is supposed to do. 

I will never be able to "get stressed" because the clothes I'm sewing for my child just aren't turning out right.  I will never post pictures of my perfectly decorated themed cupcakes I've made for the miniature circus birthday party I'm hosting.  I will never get to stay home with my kids. 

And in moments like these, I have to actually remind myself that I am a good mother. 

I would lay down my life for my children.  In a heartbeat.  I would go without food so that they could eat.  I'd go without...even shoes. 
I want my kids to not just know what it means to be a Christian, but to actually be one.  I want them to see their parents read their Bibles and hear them pray.  Not just drop them off at Sunday school for their weekly dose of religion.

I want them to know what's it's like to go to work.  I want them to know what it's like to give to someone in need.  I want my kids to know what's like to save, and spend, and save more. 

I want them to know that this world absolutely sucks sometimes.  People will hurt you.  People you never would've expected will betray you.  But that that doesn't mean you stop loving people.  And everyone deserves a second chance.

I want to shield them from as much pain as I can, but I don't want to make their life a cakewalk either.  I don't have any desire for them to never know what it's like to want something.  Even if it's just a toy. 

I want them to know what's like to know that their Dad & Mom will always be there for them.  Because we will be.
And in this Facebook perfected world, all those things sometimes don't seem to matter. 

And I may be the only one saying, and I may have to say it to myself more than I should, but
I. Am. A. Good. Mother

1 comment:

  1. Interesting that this was posted while I was up to my elbows in cake frosting, but...


    Don't let your perception of Facebook mommies (including me) tell you otherwise! I have never seen anyone as good at being a calm, flexible mommy. I'm completely jealous of your mad skills when it comes to not getting worked up about wild children (i.e., your nephew) running laps around your house with only their underwear on and screaming about poo-poo.

    We all have different strengths and weaknesses. You work hard - harder than anyone I know - to provide a good life for your kids.

    That's what matters! DO NOT beat yourself up about not being a pinterest mommy. The memories you make with your kids will be special whether they are chopping wood in the snow with them (remember that one??) or watching "Christmas Mickey" 274 days a year.

    You're an awesome mommy, and one of my heroes! I LOVE YOU!