Dear Retired Me

Dear Retired Me:

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When you no longer have to set an alarm clock,

And your grandchildren unexpectedly show up for breakfast,

And you get to fly south for winter,

Think of me.  ("Think of me.  Think of me fondly - when we said goodbye..."  Bonus points if you know where that came from.)

 the unretired, exhausted, but happy me.

See, I could really use the extra couple hundred dollars that I'm giving you

For groceries...

Or gas - yes, retired me, $3.30/gal. gas is expensive right now.  It may be cheap then, but it's expensive now...

Or the countess medical co-pays because all three kids can't manage to get sick on the same day...

Or a new pair of shoes...  :)

Or better yet, to buy pants for my children, because my washer magically shrinks them as soon as I buy them.  (My children can't possibly grow that fast can they?)

See, retirees will need 70% of their pre-retirement yearly income. 

And I read this week that my generation will need approximately $1.8 million dollars at retirement.

(Retired me, do we even use dollars any more?)

Barring some strange turn of events in my life, I'm not sure I'm gonna make it to almost $2 million dollars in my retirement accounts. 

Especially if the stock market keeps resembling the architecture of the Kingda Ka.

(Retired me, do we even have a stock market anymore?)

Dear, dear retired me,

I think of you and your white sandy beaches often.

But while I can't wait to meet you, don't arrive too fast

I'm enjoying life as unretired, exhausted, but happy me.