Bittersweet Freedom

So, tonight, our family became debt-free.  Entirely debt-free.  Including our mortgage.  As we talked about before, we sold our house.  We closed on it tonight.

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It was very bittersweet.  Partly because we literally made no money from the sale.  We had to bring a couple hundred dollars to closing.  (Which I'm not really complaining seeing how one person that I know who just sold their home had to bring almost $15,000 to closing.  What I'd give for the roaring mid-2000's...)

For the first time ever in my adult life, I have no payments.  We'll have rent, we'll have utilities, but nothing that can't be replaced.

I should feel like I've lost 50 pounds.  (Lol - I've actually lost 10 since January!!!)

But I'm kinda sad tonight.

I love this house.  It was our very first home.

Almost six years ago to the day, we got the keys to this house and moved in.  We spent the night even with no electricity.  The next night, I remember looking at the light on in my closet and thinking, "Wow."  The only place I've ever known to have a light in their closet was Peggy's condo at the beach...aka, my favorite place on earth.

It was where I interrupted my husband playing his Playstation to hand him a stick with two pink lines. 

9 months later we brought home Eli.  I'm not sure that Playstation has been played with since.

Then 18 months later, Morgan.

Then 18 months later, Hannah...hmmm...I'm noticing a pattern here.

I remember sitting in a tiny office at a job I hated, looking at the pictures with the online listing of this house, and planning exactly where I was going to put all my kitchen tools, gadgets, and plates.  I love this house.  And it kinda makes me very sad going to sleep tonight, in it, knowing that it's no longer mine.

I know it has to happen.  I have no doubt it was God's will.  I'm just very surprised at the sadness I have from it.

I love you house.  In case I never told you.  You were a great first home.  And part of my heart will always be here with you.