Happy Monday everyone!
We’ve recently gotten an influx of UK
(Just so you know, even though we revolted and all, I love the Queen. Anyone who can kiss babies, christen boats, plant trees, and wave from a balcony that much deserves some serious props. And Harry...LOVE Harry - hands down my favorite royal. Can’t wait for the Olympics.)
Because of all these new global readers, I feel compelled to introduce myself.
1. As we mentioned last week, I’m painfully sarcastic. I’ve gotten better at checking myself over the years, but I can match wits with the best of them. (And I’m very humble about it, obviously.)
2. I’m a genius with computers. I was the original Geek Squad. Mark Zuckerberg has nothing on me. In fact, if I get any better with them, I may get thrown in jail. (That last part is ironically true.)
3. I taught Dave Ramsey everything he knows. I’m kinda embarrassed about it; and I don’t like to name drop, but yeah. I was his financial counselor back in the 70’s when he declared bankruptcy. (I’m only 29…you do the math.)
4. I seriously love my job. Especially after the latest SCOTUS ruling. (See number 1.)
5. I’m wicked with Pinterest and a sewing machine. (True story: I was an art major my first year of college. I had this terrible, awful, no good painting teacher who made me never want to pick up a paintbrush again. So I switched my major to the furthest thing from art – accounting. And wa-lah; you get the genius formerly known as Sarah.)
6. Credit cards are my favorite thing ever. I’m considering buying a new car on one. They sent me a pretty blue one with only a 33% interest rate. And if I spend $27,000 in the first year, they will send me a free sticky note pad.
7. I hate shoes. Especially heels. I could wear the same pair ugly tennis shoes the rest of my life. (Again, see number 1.)
8. I like mayonnaise on my hot dog. That’s sadly true. I can hear you all gagging.
9. I turned down a recording contract to come work here. My favorite quote of “I’d rather be naked in Times Square then sing in public.” is all just a cover up. I never let anyone hear me sing because I don’t want them to feel bad about how terrible their voice is compared to mine.
10. If my husband makes any more money, it’s going to flat out annoy me. Police officers are just soooo overpaid these days. I mean, all they do is pick on those poor innocent souls that only had “Two beers, Occifer.” (Do I need to even say it?)
So, now that you’ve met me, you can decide if you actually want to continue reading this blog. I highly recommend starting over at number 1.
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